A Sucker for Pain

Today was my first cyclocross race of the season, and it was my first reminder of why I love it so much even though it destroys me like nothing else I've ever done. It is so intense, difficult, painful and agonizing. But when it's all over and the dust settles it gives you an amazing feeling of accomplishment because you have to push yourself ridiculously hard from start to finish. Cyclocross is mostly off-road bike racing with some paved sections (typically at the start and finish). There are fields with chicanes and off-camber sections, there are barriers and run-ups where you need to jump off the bike, clear the obstruction or run up a steep hill (or in the case of today's race, a set of stairs) while carrying the bike and remount without missing a beat. There are fire roads through the woods, sandpits, there could be anything. There was a race yesterday at Waterville Valley where they made a snow pit made of the ice from the zamboni machine that cleans the indoor rink there. These cyclocross races are super challenging, require power for the straightaways and technical ability for all the obstacles, and they require a massive internal engine. The elite masters races are 45 minutes of full gas, lung-busting enjoyment.. haha.. I'm sitting here writing this and my body is buzzing from the effort, I'm still unable to take a full breath without a wheeze or a coughing fit. To talk to me right now you wouldn't know if I just spent 45 minutes destroying myself on a cross track at 100% max heart rate or chain smoking Lucky Strikes.

Today's race was Sucker Brook Cross in Auburn, NH.. With sunny skies and temps in the 70's, it was an incredible day for a hike or for apple picking, not so great for a cross race. There's a reason that the cyclocross season runs into December and that's because temps in the 20's aren't really that uncomfortable when you're working this hard. I knew today would be a killer from the time I arrived at the registration table to get my number. A guy comes up beside me and asks one of the race workers if it was OK if he switched from the Pro-1-2-3 field to the 35+ Master's 1-2-3 field. It was Jonny Bold, who is one of the top 10 masters racers in the country. So there's 1st place, but more importantly, the pace of the race just went from wicked fast to G-force. On a side note, if you could pick a racing name for yourself, Jonny Bold would have to be in your top 5. It's only right that he kicks the shit out of pretty much every elite masters and elite open field that he races against. With a name like Kevin Buckley, I'm very much a middle of the pack kind of racer. Need to think of a new racing name. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

In the staging area everybody was crowding looking for a good starting position in hopes of getting a hole shot when the gun went off. Getting out front at the beginning of a cross race is huge because it's much better to be in with the lead group from the start rather than having to spend extra effort getting around people trying to claw your way to the front. When the whistle blew it was a mad sprint for position. We took the first corner about 12 across and then sprinted into the next corner where a couple riders got tangled up and went down. I got in around that and had an OK position, somewhere in the middle of the field. There are so many twists and turns in these races and the ability to accelerate hard out of the corners for the duration of the race are pivotal in finishing well. My bike handling was really good today, no crashes or wipeouts in any of the hairpin turns. I was red-lined about halfway through the first lap. This isn't unusual. That's what cyclocross is. Maximum effort for 45 minutes. You go red and you stay there. Your body and mind mess with you big time during these races. I went through various points in time where I wanted to quit, cry or puke. But I didn't do any of those things. I kept hammering as hard as I possibly could. During laps 1 through 3 I'm passing some and getting passed by others. The field is pretty strung out from about the end of the first lap on. The pace was frenetic. I settled in with a group of about 5 or 6 other guys where we kept exchanging positions for a while. The course was incredibly dusty from the high heat and hard pack conditions, especially on the dirt fire road. You can't carry water during these races (there's never a chance to drink it) and the dust was making the lack of it even more noticeable.

A few laps in you start to wonder how many laps you'll be doing since you never know at the start. The race lasts 45 minutes and they decide how many laps you'll do based on the time of the first couple laps. As you cross the finish line they show a lap card that tells you how many laps to go. At the end of the third lap, suffering at an extremely high level, I was begging for a "3" to be shown. I knew it wouldn't be less than that and praying that it wouldn't be more. There was no card. Next time around, I'm hoping for a 2, I got a 3.. This is the part where you kind of want to cry. "3 more laps of this is going to kill me", I thought. It's amazing that more people don't drop dead of heart attacks at these races, it is absolutely shocking how high and for how long your heart rate stays elevated. I've worn my HRM at these races before and I am pretty much fixed 95-100% max for the duration. These efforts test just how deep you can dig. My competitiveness, intensity, and desire keeps me pushing. My fitness level allows me to.

In the last couple laps I found that I was racing in with a few guys that I was always at about the same level with a couple years ago when I last raced cross.. I had to take last year off when I was getting the gym going and I was wondering how I would do against these same guys with my extended layoff.. We rode together through the 5th and 6th laps and when we hit the last lap I rode them off my wheel. It was a pretty good feeling to look over my shoulder and see the gap expanding. There was still a group of about 3 or 4 riders that were still on my wheel though, and I knew they wanted nothing more than to pass me. That's the thing about these races. Every position is fought for as if it's 1st place. The sprint finishes for 25th are fought just as hard as the sprints for 1st. This was no different. As we came out of the sandpit I had to put everything I had left into it to keep these three from passing me. It was a mad dash for the end and I ended up holding them off for 27th place.. Haha.. 27th.. How crazy is that? I actually fought for 27th as if it was a fight to the death.. The three that I beat for 27th each came up behind me and patted me on the back and said "great job!" as if I won.

So here I sit with my victorious 27th place finish and a pair of bleeding lungs that won't take a normal breath until Tuesday. I came across 3:30 behind Jonny Bold.. To be 3:30 behind one of the top handful of guys in the country is not too bad. The 35+ elite masters is a vicious field and I'm pretty happy with my first effort back after a very long layoff. I feel I have nowhere to go but up a this point. Next weekend is a really big race weekend in Vermont, first weekend of the Verge series which always gets the top racers around. It will be another excruciating weekend, but I'd have it no other way.